Friday, October 26, 2007

red yellow brown and gold

Anytime I think about the task of updating this blog it makes my head spin because I am so aware of the complete upheaval that has happened within me throughout the past 3 months!
I am still the same girl but I have shed a few layers and lost a lot of baggage (both literally and figuratively since I have committed to a year of poverty).
I am now a first year postulant in the Queenship of Mary community which will eventually lead me, God-willing, to becoming a Catholic sister-complete with vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. When I think about what it is that " I" am undertaking (although I claim none of it as my own doing) I note that I must seem like a complete fanatic. But that's what passion does... I never was one to skirt the edges...

Here I am almost three months in. I own some books, and one suit(with reinforcements of the same suit). Everything I have can be said to belong to everyone else in this community. Today I was applying for Ontario Health coverage and when I was asked for a bill or a pay stub confirming my Ontario mailing address I was stumped because I don't have either of these options ! This must seem ludicrous to the world that I simply don't exist (in a conventional way at least).

So what do we do? We pray, study theology and philosophy, spend time with the most remarkable people and we work within the community part time. Talk about structure...every second is accounted for! Only now am I alone in this house for the first time. If I were to pick one word to describe this experience it would have to be: full. I live a very full life, with no idle time at all (hence my absence on MSN and facebook...a part of the past and I don't miss either one ounce!)

After this year, we will each (there are 6 of us) come to a decision with the help of the Mother Superior, whether or not we will remain in community or move on. If we choose to stay, on August 22,2008, we will assume the habit and take the three temporal promises of poverty, chastity and obedience (professed to the Bishop). There are several young women in discernment for joining us next year already... things are moving so quickly..!!

Ok I feel a little less daunted at the thought of writing from where I am now.. no more unnatural explanations! Beyond this point, formalities would seem superfluous.. I will bridge the rest of the gap when appropriate.

It is a crisp fall day of my favourite variety in Ottawa, and I am feeling light...