The Lord works through our suffering... I have searched, yet I have found nothing more obviously true. This morning, as I was agonizing over my own inability to pray, I was forcefully struck with my own blindness of our unique situation. Imagine the value of these prayers? Even if I do not feel anything, the worth of the offering is beyond measure. How vain we can be, little creatures that we are. We feel that if the tiny antennaes that are our human senses cannot perceive that God is listening, then He is not.
For years I have been familiar with the saying 'unite your sufferings with those of Christ'- but this lent, in my 22nd year of life, I think I get it. To loosely quote St. Therese, our suffering is the only thing that is truly ours to offer to God. All else that is, belongs already to Him. These sufferings, therefore are infinitely valuable. The uncertainties surrounding our suffering...the dryness of prayer, the whole desert experience...these things will be put to our credit if we bear them with grateful hearts and steadfast spirits.
We are tired. Very tired...the night shifts are really messing up all of our circadian rhythms. But thanks be to God, it is a gorgeous spring day in the maritimes and life will go on. My heart will be more mature and much more dependent on God to be the 'unique joy of my heart' (St.Pio). May we never stop along the way to dwell in our own sorrows...instead let them be for us a tool to remind us that the one who knew the greatest sorrow (Mary, our Mother while watching her own Son and her God die at the hands of men), holds the greatest place in heaven among the angels. Let us ponder all these things in our hearts...
2 comments:
Jenna, I certainly don't envy your current situation, but ... good God, it's absolutely amazing how you deal with it.
There's so much maturity, knowledge and understanding close-packed in these (well-written!) lines; I'd expect this of a theology professor, not of a 22-year-old. You seem to be so brim-full of hope and trust. Respect - keep writing!
My best wishes, thoughts and hardcore prayers for all of you!
Sebastian
Jenna,
That is such an awesome post! I remember learning about that in my Theology classes last year. It is definetly a revelation from God. Keep being open to the spirit! God bless you and your family,
Drew
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